Our family, it turns out, is really quite boring. So this week I thought I would write about something a little different...
As many of you know, this has been a trying year for us. Like so many others across the country, Steve and I both lost our jobs last winter. We both worked in the homebuilding industry - Steve was a salesperson for a plumbing wholesaler and I worked for a charity that relied heavily on homebuilders for sponsorships. As the industry declined over the last year or so, we became very aware of the possibility that one of us could become unemployed. We never thought that we would feel a double blow.
After six years of being at home with the kids and working part time as a teacher, I made the difficult decision to return to work full time in the summer of 2007. Because I had been "out of the industry" for so long, I knew it would be difficult to find exactly what I was looking for and so I took the first decent job that came along. I soon found myself in a completely new role, managing sponsorships and special events. After about a year, I was ready to move on and began looking for something that was more in my field. Honestly, I wasn't looking forward to another fall, managing a major event that would require me to work every weekend for two months (as I had the previous year). Nothing transpired and the event was getting closer and closer. Being the loyal worker bee that I am, I put off my job search until after the new year so that I wouldn't leave my co-workers in the difficult position of implementing an event that I had planned. All the while, sponsorships for the new year weren't looking so good, and the big event didn't raise as much money as we had hoped. I started to worry, but was told that we would be fine - job cuts weren't being considered.
In November, my position was cut back to part time and I was told they would increase my hours as quickly as possible. While I was working fewer hours than I would have liked, this really wasn't such a bad turn of events. I had been struggling with the work/life balance issue that is so common among working moms. By this time, Christmas was quickly approaching and I had no choice but to stick with the job and look for something new after the new year. I naively thought my new status meant my job was safe. I couldn't have been more wrong. The next month, just one week before Christmas, my job was eliminated altogether. I wasn't surprised, really. But I was shocked to find myself in this situation. Suddenly I was unemployed. How did this happen to me? You always think (or at least I did) that you are valuable, but what I learned was that it doesn't matter how talented or dedicated you are - it's just a numbers game in the end.
I decided to relax and enjoy Christmas. I could worry about finding a job after the holidays. Thankfully our Christmas shopping was done, or that would have really stressed me out. I enjoyed hanging out with the kids for a couple of weeks, but I did have to deal with that unemployment thing. Going to the unemployment office seemed so final - desperate in a way. But while Steve was home one afternoon, I begrudingly spent several hours there filling out paperwork, registering on line, and sitting through my orientation. I would start certifying for my weekly benefits in a couple of weeks.
After the new year, I got serious about job hunting and sent out scores of resumes. Can I tell you how much I despise sending resumes and filling out job applications? At the same time, I was enjoying having my mornings to myself, cleaning the house, all that fun "mom" stuff that I had missed so much. I had figured out how long we could survive on Steve's income, combined with my severance and weekly unemployment check, and was feeling really good about where we were headed. Times would be tough, but we would certainly survive.
Then, just a week or so into 2009, Steve called me in one afternoon to tell me he had lost his job. "Yeah right," I said. "That's not funny." It wasn't funny - and he wasn't joking. Panic set in immediately. While we would be ok on one income, I knew we couldn't survive on no income at all. Just a few days later Steve, who had teased me just a little about going to the unemployment office just a week before (but who also offered to come with me, for moral support), made the same trek.
For the next few weeks, we hung out at home together. Every day. I didn't return phone calls from friends who had heard about Steve's job. I appreciated everyone's kind words, but I knew they were secretly thanking God that it was us and not them. As I watched news stories about unemployment, bankruptcies and foreclosures, I was completely aware that I had become one of "those people". I knew there was a very real possibility that we could lose our home - in the not so distant future. We began to talk about what we could sell, and what we could do without. After working for a charity that helps homeless families, I knew how quickly people can lose everything. And that was becoming a very real possibility for us.
Thankfully, we have many great friends and a very supportive family - all of whom have tried to work their magic and help us find jobs. Steve's mom sent my resume out to her contact list on the day I lost my job, and I was contacted by one of her co-workers almost immediately. We played phone tag for a few days, and then I never heard from her again. I had all but given up hope when she called me one day out of the blue, asking if I could do some contract work for them. And just like that, my extended "vacation" was over. And I never received a single unemployment check.
I've learned many things this year. I've learned that people have misconceptions about the unemployed - that we're lazy, irresponsible, or weren't productive, etc. I've learned that it takes six weeks, minimum, to start receiving unemployment benefits. For most people, including us, that's long after any severance pay has run out. I've learned that COBRA is incredibly expensive. For people on unemployment, making less than hald of their old income, it's simply not realistic. Thank goodness for the stimulus bill, which cut our monthly COBRA payment by more than half. I've learned that teamwork and a positive attitude can go a long way. I've learned that you have to put yourself and your family first, because your employer will not. And I've learned that sometimes the best gifts come in the ugliest packages.
Surprisingly, I do look at this year as a gift. Steve has had the unique opportunity to spend seven months at home with our kids - a time I hope they will all remember fondly. He has taken some computer classes that he had been wanting to take for years, but never had the time. I've been able to make my own hours, allowing me to go to events at the kids' schools that I would have missed had I been "working."
As of today, not much has changed. I'm still freelancing, although I am acutely aware that it could end at any moment (which would take us back to the "panic" stage). Steve is still getting his weekly unemployment check and has had a few interviews. He has an interview next week with a former employer (cross your fingers!). I send out many resumes each week and know that something permanent will come along eventually.
I know there is a light at the end of this very long, dark tunnel, and I can see it getting a little closer every day.
